The statistics are alarming – 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be molested before age 18. Approximately 85% of sexual offenders are known to the child and 50% are parent figures. There is no way we can completely protect our children from sexual abuse, but there are some ways we can lessen the chance it could occur.
* Tell children that if someone tries to touch their bodies in a way that makes them feel “funny” or “bad” to say NO then go tell an adult they trust.
* Talk to children every day about their interactions with others. Ask them about their feelings. This helps to encourage your children to feel comfortable talking to you about anything.
* Do not teach your children blind obedience to adults. Don’t teach children to do everything an adult or teacher tells them. Instead teach them that most adults are good people to be respected but that they should listen to their own hearts; tell them that it’s OK to say NO to an adult if they want the child to do something they know is wrong.
* Teach your children the correct names for their body parts, as well as any nicknames you might use. Make sure they know that areas covered by a bathing suit are private. Take away the embarrassment children have about talking about “private parts”.
* Teach children the difference between good touches and bad touches. Explain to them that while it is OK for a doctor to touch their stomach to see what’s wrong, it is not OK for Mr. Smith to touch them in their pants.
* Teach your children not to keep secrets from you and don’t encourage secret keeping in your family. Tell your children that they can always tell you anything no matter what anyone tells them.
* Play “what if ” games with your children. Create frightening and confusing situations and ask children what they would do in these situations, for example ask, “What would you do if someone wanted you to play undressing games?” Make sure you balance these games with questions about good touches.
Often we have no clue about sexual abuse. When we do find out – we ask ourselves, “How come I didn’t see it?”
After I graduated from high school, I tried to keep in touch with old friends. It wasn’t until years later that I learned that some of my friends had been abused. I was horrified. I couldn’t believe that this had gone on in some of the homes that I spent a lot of time.
I’ve tried to do all that I can to be aware in my own life and in raising my family. Recently I found out about an organization that promotes safety and gives kids a fighting chance. It empowers kids to use their instincts and replace fear with confidence. It is called Rad Kids. Go to www.radkids.org and learn where you can take advantage of this in your community. Ed Smart (Elizabeth Smart’s father) was on Oprah endorsing this program. Become educated and empower your family.
-Jenny