Choking has always been something that has freaked me out. I remember my teenage days of babysitting and would panic when the baby I was feeding would start to choke on their bottle and gasp for air. My own experiences of choking on food and not being able to breath – is such a horrible experience. I think we’ve all felt that.
* Always supervise young children while they are eating.
* Do not allow children under age 3 to each small, round or hard foods, including hot dogs, hard candy, nuts, grapes, or popcorn.
* Keep small objects of their reach. Get on the floor on your hands and knees, so that you are at your child’s eye level. Look for and remove small items such as jewelry, coins, buttons, pins, nails, and stones.
* Keep all plastic bags out of reach.
* Never hang anything on or above a crib with string or ribbon longer than 7 inches.
* Never put a long cord like a necklace, ribbon or bib with ties on an infant.
* Clip pacifiers to clothing with short leashes, not long cords.
* Remove hood and neck drawstrings from all children’s clothing.
* Tie up all window blind and drapery cords, or cut the ends and retrofit with safety tassels. The inner cords of blinds should be fitted with cord stops.
* Make sure that children play with age-appropriate toys, as indicated by choking hazard safety labels. Inspect old and new toys regularly for damage that my cause small pieces to break off.
* Don’t let children under age 8 blow up balloons. Store balloons out of the reach of children.
As a parent, I’ve tried to be cautious – but things still happen. I remember my daughter, about 8 or 9 years old at the time, wanting to make Kool Aid. She opened the package and a whiff of powder poofed up at her and into her mouth and nose. She instantly felt like she was strangling on the powder. It was scary! In fact, I still can’t remember what I did to help her.
I do know that the biggest part of parenting to to always be on guard. Watch your children – get down and play with them. Be observant! Learn all you can and try your best. Things are going to happen, but if you are prepared, then hopefully you’ll respond instead of panic.
A child predator employs many tricks and lures to steal away your child. The following are a few examples of the most common.
* A stranger may quickly approach the victim. This element of surprise does not allow the child to think about what is happening and get away.
* A stranger may pose as an authority figure (police, fireman, security) and ask the child to leave with them.
* A stranger may try to bribe the child with money, candy, toys, cute pets, etc.
* A stranger may tell the child there is a crisis such as family illness and say a parent told them to pick the child up.
* A stranger may approach with compliments to appeal to the child’s ego.
* A stranger may approach with false caring, promise or knowing child’s name if noted on the child’s possessions (shirt, backpack, toy).
* A stranger may suggest playing games.
* A stranger may ask for help, such as directions or help to find a lost pet.
* A stranger may fake an injury requesting help.
* Children often idolize adults, allowing false trust. Strangers prey on this false trust. It’s okay to tell children not to trust an adult. Trust needs to be earned, not given freely.
* A stranger may try to lure a child by asking the child to do work for the stranger.
* Important clip to watch with your child:
Stranger abductions are quite rare. In fact, statistics show that it’s more likely your child could be kidnapped by a family member or someone they know. However, it is important to talk to your child about abductions. You don’t need to scare them, just empower them.
Most of us parents think that our child would not walk off willingly with a stranger. Please watch the above listed clip from Oprah – you might be surprised.
I remember hearing about a child that was grabbed on his way home from school. A car pulled up and the driver got out and walked around to grab the child. The boy was riding his bike. The boy was very smart – he refused to let go of the bike. The stranger could not maneuver getting the boy and the bike in the car. It became such as struggle – that the stranger gave up. Wow! If we could only teach all of our kids to be quick thinking like that. That is why I feel like we need to practice, practice, practice! Put your child in different scenarios. Talk to them about what they should do or what they could do to obtain help or draw attention to themselves.
Healthy self-esteem is a child’s shield against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. Parents play a big role in the development of their child’s self-esteem. This is how you can make a difference:
* Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents’ words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful. For example, if your child doesn’t make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, “Well, next time you’ll work harder and make it.” Instead, try “Well, you didn’t make the team, but I’m really proud of the effort you put into it.” Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.
* Be a positive role model. If you’re excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
* Identify and redirect your child’s inaccurate beliefs. It’s important for parents to identify kids’ irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they’re about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, “I can’t do math. I’m a bad student.” Not only is this a false generalization, it’s also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: “You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We’ll work on it together.”
* Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will go a long way to boost your child’s self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you’re proud of them. Pop a note in your child’s lunchbox that reads, “I think you’re terrific!” Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.
* Give positive, accurate feedback. Comments like “You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!” will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better statement is, “You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn’t yell at him or hit him.” This acknowledges a child’s feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.
* Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don’t feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids’ self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.
* Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.
There are many different kinds of drug abuse: alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceutical, inhalants, gateway drugs, and hard core drugs. Early prevention is the key to keep our children safe. Here’s what parents can do.
* Be your kids’ greatest fan. Compliment them on all of their efforts, the strength of their character and their individuality.
* Encourage open dialog with your children about their experiences. Make sure your children understand that they can ask you anything and that you will give them an honest answer.
* Set limits and consistently enforce them. This makes it easier for them to say “NO” when pressured by peers.
* Set a no-use rule for alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
* Help your children feel good about themselves; build up their self-esteem with support, praise, and love, so they respect themselves and want to reach their dreams.
* Serve as a good role model. If you have a drug or alcohol abuse problem, get help for yourself.
* Help children to make wise decisions based upon their own beliefs.
* Encourage them to say “NO” and avoid unhealthy situations.
* Encourage children to choose positive friendships. Get to know your children’s friends and their parents. Call them and check to make sure they share in your views on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
* Give children the support they need to do their best in school.
* Help children deal with failure so they learn to cope without wanting to escape with drugs.
* Get your children involved in adult-supervised after-school activities. Find out if they are interested in sports, music, or other things. This helps them to have something to do with their time.
* Help your children develop tools they can use to get out of alcohol or drug related situations.
* Sit down for dinner with your children at least once a week. Use the time to talk-don’t eat in front of the TV.
* Get-and stay-involved in your children’s lives.
The statistics are alarming – 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be molested before age 18. Approximately 85% of sexual offenders are known to the child and 50% are parent figures. There is no way we can completely protect our children from sexual abuse, but there are some ways we can lessen the chance it could occur.
* Tell children that if someone tries to touch their bodies in a way that makes them feel “funny” or “bad” to say NO then go tell an adult they trust.
* Talk to children every day about their interactions with others. Ask them about their feelings. This helps to encourage your children to feel comfortable talking to you about anything.
* Do not teach your children blind obedience to adults. Don’t teach children to do everything an adult or teacher tells them. Instead teach them that most adults are good people to be respected but that they should listen to their own hearts; tell them that it’s OK to say NO to an adult if they want the child to do something they know is wrong.
* Teach your children the correct names for their body parts, as well as any nicknames you might use. Make sure they know that areas covered by a bathing suit are private. Take away the embarrassment children have about talking about “private parts”.
* Teach children the difference between good touches and bad touches. Explain to them that while it is OK for a doctor to touch their stomach to see what’s wrong, it is not OK for Mr. Smith to touch them in their pants.
* Teach your children not to keep secrets from you and don’t encourage secret keeping in your family. Tell your children that they can always tell you anything no matter what anyone tells them.
* Play “what if ” games with your children. Create frightening and confusing situations and ask children what they would do in these situations, for example ask, “What would you do if someone wanted you to play undressing games?” Make sure you balance these games with questions about good touches.
Often we have no clue about sexual abuse. When we do find out – we ask ourselves, “How come I didn’t see it?”
After I graduated from high school, I tried to keep in touch with old friends. It wasn’t until years later that I learned that some of my friends had been abused. I was horrified. I couldn’t believe that this had gone on in some of the homes that I spent a lot of time.
I’ve tried to do all that I can to be aware in my own life and in raising my family. Recently I found out about an organization that promotes safety and gives kids a fighting chance. It empowers kids to use their instincts and replace fear with confidence. It is called Rad Kids. Go to www.radkids.org and learn where you can take advantage of this in your community. Ed Smart (Elizabeth Smart’s father) was on Oprah endorsing this program. Become educated and empower your family.
If you could make one place a safe haven for your children, where would it be? For many parents, the answer is their homes. Yet research shows more than 4.5 million children are injured in the home every year.
* Check for fire hazards. Look for frayed electrical wires or flammable materials near heat sources such as space heaters. Never run electrical cords under rugs.
* Make sure you have working smoke alarms. Install carbon monoxide detectors in every sleeping area and check batteries often.
* Use safety gates. Stair falls tend to result in severe injuries. Use safety gates at the top and bottom of stairs to keep infants and toddlers out of harm’s way.
* Cover all unused electrical outlets.
* If firearms are kept in the house, keep them locked, unloaded and stored out of reach. Secure ammunition in a separate, locked location.
* Install window guards on all windows that are not emergency exits. Window guards can be purchased at your local hardware store.
* Young children love to climb on furniture and use drawers and shelves as steps. However, children can sustain crush injuries as furniture can easily tip over on them. Secure bookcases, shelving, and heavy furniture to walls with brackets and anchors. When storing items, put heavier items on bottom shelves and in bottom drawers.
* Large items such as TV’s, microwaves, fish tanks and appliances can topple off stands and fall on children. Use broad-based carts for TV’s and appliances. Secure carts and appliances to walls. Avoid using pedestal tables to hold heavy items.
I think every parent can relate to some stupid accident that has happened in their home. We forget to put something away or we just don’t realize what could be a hazard. I did all the routine safety suggestions when I had my first child. I put locks on all cupboards, I moved cleaners up high, I put covers on the outlets – but that didn’t prevent a mishap from time to time.
My kids have all been climbers – couches, tables, the kitchen bar, etc. I was always pulling them off of things. We had an accident with my youngest one time. It wasn’t even at my house. He was at his friend’s house. They were watching a dinosaur movie and acting like dinosaurs. Their play got a little rough and my son fell backwards and hit his head on the corner of a coffee table. Of course, I was freaked out when his friend’s mom called me. After a trip to the emergency room and some stitches – they were back to being best buds. I guess my point is – do the best you can. Look for obvious dangers in your house and take care of them. Know that you’ll never catch all problems and don’t beat yourself up if an accident does happen. Honestly, it’s part of being a parent. Good luck, and stay safe.
* Tell children that if someone tries to touch their bodies in a way that makes them feel “funny” or “bad” to say NO then go tell an adult they trust.